Self Confidence – How to acquire it

From mind tools:


Low Self-Confidence

Doing what you believe to be right, even if others mock or criticize you for it. Governing your behavior based on what other people think.
Being willing to take risks and go the extra mile to achieve better things. Staying in your comfort zone, fearing failure and so avoid taking risks.
Admitting your mistakes, and learning from them.

Working hard to cover up mistakes, and hoping that you can fix the problem before anyone notices.

Waiting for others to congratulate you on your accomplishments. Extolling your own virtues as often as possible to as many people as possible.
Accepting compliments graciously. “Thanks, I really worked hard on that prospectus. I’m pleased you recognize my efforts.” Dismissing compliments offhandedly. “Oh that prospectus was nothing really, anyone could have done it.”

Just look at both columns and honestly ask yourself which choice did I make?  If you cannot accept complements, then more than likely you have low self-confidence.


Confidence is not just one thing.  Each of us lacks confidence in some areas of our life and has confidence in other areas.  We gain confidence from DOING things and if you tell people you’re no good, they may/might believe it.  Therefore, tell people you are better than that.  Fake it until you make it since confidence grows with time as you keep DOING things you are not good at.


Here are step-by-step in gaining that elusive confidence:

  1. Practice – in DOING
  2. Behave as if you are more confident than you feel
  3. Be flexible in your behavior
  4. Learn from your mistakes.  The only way of avoiding mistakes is to become stagnant.  Be the running stream, always moving.
  5. Silence the voice of self-blame and speak encouragingly to yourself
  6. Be kind to yourself, don’t sabotage your own self

PowerPose     PowerPose1

Social psychologist Amy Cuddy shows how “power posing” — standing in a posture of confidence, even when we don’t feel confident — can affect testosterone and cortisol levels in the brain, and might even have an impact on our chances for success. Check out her TED talk below:

Self-confidence is a learned behavior.  We are NOT born self-confident.  Practice in DOING! – SjC

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