She is a tall blonde who has everything going for her. She has graduated from Cornell University with honors, and she finished her Master’s degree program in Finance from University of Pennsylvania. She has accepted her dream job at KPMG, making $125,000 a year salary. This tall blonde’s name is Alissa.
She is an average brunette who has graduated from Millersville University with her BSN degree. She has accepted as a third shift RN position at Doylestown Hospital 2 years ago. She has been accepted to enter CRNA program at Thomas Jefferson University. She is not sure to invest 3 more years in this program since this job market is becoming saturated and important lucrative wage is no longer lucrative. Also, if she wants to work as a CRNA, she may have to relocate to find CRNA job in rural Central States, away from her family and friends. This average brunette’s name is Melissa.
Melissa has met a man who treats her like a queen. He is rich, handsome, and owns multiple subway chains throughout Berks County. His net value is roughly 10 million dollars and buys Melissa whatever she wants.
Alissa has met a man who is not making bank. However, this guy travels all over the states to help out inner city kids with English and Math problems. He is paid via per-diem and lives on paycheck to paycheck.
Alissa has decided to quit her dream job and is now traveling with her man helping inner city kids with various educational deficiencies. They are currently engaged to be married and she is proudly wearing her $50.00 dollar Cubic zirconia ring. She is very happy and feels lucky to find this man in her life.
Melissa is currently trying to get out of her relationship because she is not happy. She has received numerous gifts such as new diamond ring to top of the line Apple Laptop to various vacation trips world wide. Although she doesn’t want to enroll in her CRNA program at Thomas Jefferson, she is looking into enrolling in the program anyway, living in Philadelphia area just to get away from her man.
What is going on here?
Why did this beautiful tall blonde who has everything, decided to give up her dream job to follow a man who virtually has nothing? Why did this average brunette who seemed to found her dream man, who can provide for her and her future family, is trying to get out of it?
Here are the findings.
All human activity can be divided into three broad categories; therefore there are three ways with which to derive pleasure from the world.
1. Intellectual activities
2. Athletic activities
3. Social activities.
Most categories overlap. Any sport that is a team sport is an athletic endeavor as well as a social event. Only an activity such as mathematics practiced all alone can qualify as a purely intellectual endeavor. All social activities involve one of the other categories. If you’re dancing that’s an athletic activity and you can’t talk to people without using some part of your intellect.
Using this system you can graph yourself. It’s a sure bet that the higher you score the more people you will influence. It works like this:
Give yourself a score of 1 to 10. If you’ve got a Ph.D., or a Nobel Prize, then you rate a ten, if you can barely read then give yourself a 1. If you’ve got painting hanging in the Louvre or run a fortune 500 company than you can give yourself a 10. If you can play 20 songs and able to perform for an hour or two, give yourself 8. If you can correctly answer most of the questions on jeopardy than give yourself a number 7. You get the idea here.
If you are a world class athlete or a professional dancer give yourself a 10. If you can hit the ball over the fence at the company softball fund-raiser than give yourself a 7.
If you have real old good friends and everyone always invites you to their parties and you’re a hip/in kinda guy and you can change the tires on your car and plug in a stereo system and cut the line at the hot nightclubs and your phone never stops ringing than score yourself a 10.
It’s a vaguer kinda category. If you can pick a nice bottle of wine and know what fork to use and pitch a tent in no time flat then score yourself high. If you can sit down at diner with various intellectual luminaries and people who excel at things and sustain interesting conversation than score yourself a 10- but you wouldn’t be able to do that without categories 1 and 2. What are you going to talk about? See how things overlap?
Score yourself and other people on 30, ten points each category. The categories you’re weak in you should start working on. Make no mistake; everyone who has that maximum influence excels in at least one of the categories above.
You must become accomplished in all of the categories. Balance is the key.
Now some people might say “Well, if the goal of life is to derive pleasure from things, then why should it be important for us to get good at them? Doesn’t an amateur skier derive as much pleasure from his sport as an expert skier?”
No he doesn’t. The more refined aspects of an activity greatly add to the pleasure it gives. Anyone who is an expert at something has stuck with it for a long time; therefore he has derived much pleasure from it, and lives better because of it. He knows how to get even more pleasure from it because he is an expert at it. If you look at it from a standpoint of food, it would mean that the person who is aquatinted with haute cuisine (a.k.a. Fancy Cooking) derives more pleasure from food than someone who is only aquatinted with burgers and fries. That doesn’t mean that he still can’t appreciate a good burger once in a while, au contraire (at contrary), he appreciates it even more. The simplicity, the ability to hold it in your hands, etc.
It’s interesting to note that most people score around 20-26 range. If they are exceptionally strong in one category, it’s almost certain that they score low in another one.
What is the point?
Money will not buy you love. You have to be balanced and must be that interesting person. So if you want to keep your man or woman, work on your deficiencies and become that most interesting man/woman you are capable of. It is also so much fun going through the process of being the most interesting man or woman. Keep on improving yourself and you will gain respect.
Finally, if you are the most interesting person who has the passion, desire and the focus with a strong conviction for a cause, the other person WILL orbit around this strong star. It is the natural law. The one with a stronger frame, or gravity, the others would naturally follow this great star. Alissa, the beautiful tall blond, has given up on her career to be with this stronger star. In meantime, even 10 million dollar portfolio isn’t enough to hold Melissa’s attention and she is fading away. The 10 million dollar man should be thanking Melissa for not becoming a gold digger, who could have taken half of his money if she decided to get married and divorce after few years. This is the reason why you must be the most interesting man and living your life with a passion with that unflappable conviction. This is the starting point of being the most interesting man who WILL be living the most interesting life.
Mastery of self is a slow process. Take your time, and understand who you are first. Take care of number #1 before attempting to help others. If you can’t help yourself, you are certainly unable to help others who may need your help. Be the value giver rather than some helpless person needing a sponsor to live their life. -SjC