Ideal Mate – Transformation

Year 2012 has been one whacked out year.  Right now I am thinking back what had happened; I still cannot explain what went down.  I was in some zombie state living versus living the life what I want to be living.  I picked up an old book I read few years ago while drinking Starbuck’s café mocha and re-read, “No more Mr. Nice guy” by the author Robert Glover. I rediscovered what Integrated Male meant to us.

Integrated male possesses following attributes: (These traits must be incorporate to be a genuine male)

  1. He has a strong sense of self.  He likes himself just as he is and sold on himself 100%.
  2. He takes responsibility for getting his own needs met.
  3. He is comfortable with his masculinity and his sexuality.
  4. He has integrity.  He does what is right, not what is expedient.
  5. He is a leader.  He is willing to provide for and protect those he cares about.
  6. He is clear, direct, and expressive of his feelings.
  7. He can be nurturing and giving without care-taking or problem-solving.
  8. He knows how to set boundaries and is not afraid to work through conflict.


Doing something different (Addendum):

  1. Accept themselves just as they are.
  2. Use their mistakes as valuable learning tools.
  3. Stop seeking the approval of others.  (This applies to women, especially their friend’s approval)
  4. Experience loving and intimate relationships.
  5. Make their needs a priority.
  6. Find people who are able and willing to help them meet their needs.
  7. Learn to give judiciously, with no strings attached.
  8. Face their fears.
  9. Develop integrity and honesty.
  10. Set boundaries. Drop bad behaviors.
  11. Build meaningful relationships with men.
  12. Create healthier, more satisfying relationships with women.
  13. Experience and express their feelings.
  14. Deal with problems directly.
  15. Develop an intimate and satisfying sexual relationship.
  16. Find peace with the changing complexities of life.

Can you incorporate these traits? A must to do list for being a genuine real man. Robert Glover is a genius! – SjC

2 Responses to “Ideal Mate – Transformation”

  1. Chris Todd February 1, 2013 at 1:29 am Permalink

    Great post. I can learn many things from these traits! I am blown away.

  2. Erica February 1, 2013 at 3:45 am Permalink

    Chris, I agree with you. This is a golden nugget.

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