Anxiety is the opposite of confidence. For some reason, we focus on loss of 5 bucks more than gaining 5 bucks. Fear of losing someone, fear of height, or fear of public speaking all leads to some form of anxiety. We loathe someone making judgements on us, laughing at us or some cases fear someone even looking at us. This is why most people who grew up in PC/XBOX/PS3/Facebook/Online dating world lack some self-confidence.
Here are steps in developing confidence by Dr.Paul, renowned psychologist:
1. Simply make a decision, or BE decisive. You can’t make decisions in the past or future—only in the present.
2. Take an action — ANY action. We can’t take actions in the past or future—only in the present. Motivational speakers tend to chant the mantra of taking action without really knowing why that is so good for people to do. Now you know—actions can only be done in the present, and you have to be present- minded to do Observing Ego. So, action leads to Observing Ego growth.
3. Use your five senses. You can’t smell something from the future, or hear something from the past—not with as vivid a sense as you can in the present moment. So cultivate your senses—notice things around you with all five senses—and you’ll be automatically in a better place to use Observing Ego to kick off more mature masculine power in your life.
4. Dating scene for a single man/woman, If you take notice of the senses as you engage a woman/man in conversation, you might even notice that you help HER/HIM develop her own Observing Ego. (which she/He will be thankful for) This is the beginnings of INTIMACY and “rapport.” Intimacy can only happen in the present moment—when two people are completely engaged in understanding and communicating with each other. This is the key to understanding each other, not through some online dating site(s)/Facebook typing away/hiding behind the keyboard, not engaged in all 5 senses.
5. Share a meal. Doing so is one of the only things in life that engages all five senses, is a decision and action in itself, and usually, an intimate event. If you have ever had a sense that your masculinity was in a weakened state, or hat you were doing poorly with the opposite sex, you will find that you were not 1) being decisive 2) taking action 3) using your senses and taking note of them 4) truly connecting in an intimate way, or 5) spending too much time alone, not in such activities as shared meals. And you certainly weren’t doing all of the above in one encounter. Try some of these and discover more activities of your own that encourage more of a present-minded state of mind. You’ll find that your ability to judge your own behavior and calmly adjust it to the politics of your social life improves. You’ll soon notice more of what it feels like to really BE James Bond or the Gladiator—full of poise, empathy, rapport, and overall masculine power.
Learn to do these steps daily and get off your gaming console or Facebook once in awhile. Live life in a real world. -SjC